"Ahh! Ain't They Cute"

I shouldn't be doing this. I'm about to embark on the destruction of my reputation and risk becoming persona non grata based upon what I'm about to divulge. I will be misinterpreted, deemed a miscreant and perhaps dismissed because of my opinions.

I admire and appreciate animals as well as anyone, perhaps even more than the average person since, alas, I was a career biologist. I spent forty-five years working with animals in pharmaceutical research including nine in a laboratory searching for new drugs to eliminate parasitic worms in animals and man, six years at a research farm working with chickens, sheep and other agricultural friends, and thirty years helping in new drug discovery and development through animal models.

When I was growing up we had cats, one at a time, and mom liked parakeets, too. My kids had a dog, "Sniffer," for a while until, well, bad dog, used the living room rug for his convenience. Sniffer "went to the farm."

However, I thoroughly understand animals play a significant role in our society and that dogs have become an icon in that society. Now that I've experienced living in an RV in RV parks, I realize the extremes to which people have gone to devote their lives to their pets.

For example, the Florida RV park has well over two-hundred sites for RVs and dogs outnumber people in the park. Many folks have two dogs and some three in their RV. And a cat and/or bird. What's wrong with that picture? RVs are small living quarters and the sites are close together. One dog barks and cacophony erupts.

One moldy oldy couple has two dogs that they routinely walk quick-time around the park, often each day. They walk six miles a day in the park with their dogs, one large, one small. "So what," you say? Well, during their numerous rounds, they hand out treats to all the other dogs they see, making them bark each time they pass by and on the next lane as well, as the couple blissfully enjoy showing off their pooches and talking loudly with folks during their brisk walks, leaving behind sounds of yipping, woofing, screeching and other assorted dog noises. Isn't that cute. Yeah, right.

But the worst canine communication commission time is 4 to 6:30pm, when it's time for everyone to walk their beloved mutt before dark and, ideally, pick up all, well, some of their scatological mess scattered anywhere.

One white haired lady came walking with her cutesy puppy pooch as I came out of my RV. The cutesy little mutt barked its fool head off at me with unfriendly, needy, demanding barks as I walked. The white haired old lady said, and I quote, "How cute. He's saying hello to you." I said, "No lady. He's just barking his fool head off at me." I heard that same comment several times from several different dog walkers. Saying hello. Yeah. Right. Folks love to hear their dear dogs bark. Even in a small park with a few hundred other pets, they don't care. Noise is out of control.

And I feel sorry for all the poor trees. And poles and other uprights. Their bases get sniffed and peed on routinely, every day by loads of dogs. Every day. It's a good thing it rains on occasion. Dilution helps. Living in a kennel has its down side. I wonder what those RVs smell like with several hairy dogs in them, especially large dogs, especially on wet days. Yuck.

Speaking of kennels, in 2006 the American Kennel Club met at the Tampa Convention Center, packing the RV park with people with lots of dogs. Way too many of them. My RV was surrounded by eighteen dogs just on my side of the lane. Eighteen. Overkill. Unreasonable. That inspired me to go to the AKC show to see for myself, people who dedicate their lives to dogs. I did. I still don't get it.

I think I'd better end here before I get run out of town as well as the Happy Traveler RV Park (and kennel).